Okay, don't freak out. Not that you're not invited. Today is not my wedding day and I'm not walking down the aisle yet. I am not even wearing an engagement ring, well, other than this of my mom's, which she gave me when I turned eighteen. However the title of this is something that has been sitting around for some time now in my notebook and I have been itching to write about it since I have thought of that big day. Let's just say that I am waiting for the right time to write about it, and supposedly the right time would be the real time, but I couldn't wait any longer so I am writing it now. Yes, now, even if there are no wedding bells for me yet. My imagination is running weird but heck, I have to let this out as the thoughts kept on flowing. Pictures are starting to develop inside my head as to how the big day will be and words are starting to pile up that I have to take them out before they become garbled and distorted. But as to how or where I shall begin, I have no idea. It's easier in the real world but let me try still.

 

I love communing with nature. I like the chirping of birds, the sound that flowing water makes, the trees-- the shade and the cold breeze they give, the smell of green grass, and the sight of wild flowers-- things you'll never see in the busy city. I love the feeling of being at the top of the world. I like being close to the clouds. 

 

I have wished of getting a marriage proposal at Mt. Pulag (it's the second highest mountain in the Philippines). I haven't been there but I've heard great stories about it. And being once a mountaineer, I know it's lovely up there. And when I saw the pictures-- the sunrise, the atmosphere, I told myself that if someone's going to propose marriage to me, it is that kind of setting that I want. A setting where I could feel the closeness of God with His wonderful, amazing works. I have this overwhelming emotion every time I am closer to nature and I'd like to top it with the proposal. That would be a taste of heaven I supposed. 

 

I have witnessed a lot of weddings. I have seen and shared a lot of stress both with the bride and the groom. I told myself that I don't want to be stressed out on my wedding preparation. I want everyone to feel proud, excited, and happy from the day one of the preparation to the big day. I want to get good photographers and videographers. I want an audio-visual presentation. I will get a good caterer and the best menu they could offer. I will do everything that I should do but as I have said, I don't want the word "stress" on my wedding preparation-- that means I'll have to pay someone to carry that word for me-- a wedding coordinator. 

 

My goal for everyone is to go home with a happy heart and a satisfied belly. Say that with a big smile and a belch.

 

I can imagine myself wearing a simple yet elegant white gown, a very comfortable pair of shoes-- which is a must for me, and a smile that I know I won't be able to take off my face the rest of the day. I can see the door slowly opening, giving me a glimpse of the other end of the aisle where my groom is waiting. His eyes are on me; his lips are slightly apart in amazement on how I look on my simple gown and a cluster of flowers on my hand. Then I'd give him my smile that says, "Stay right where you are, I'll be there in no time." Then he'd give a low chuckle, eyes still focused on me, mine on his.

 

As I walk down the aisle, I can feel the eyes of our loved ones-- the spectators, the people that matter to me and my groom, teary-eyed and wearing a smile of genuine happiness on their faces. And when I finally get to my groom, we'd hold hands, smile, and tell each other, "I love you," and together we present ourselves to the altar where God is waiting to seal our love with His greater love.

 

Ahh... it could have been perfect and real if I have a groom now. But I know he's somewhere, dreaming of his own wedding, too-- hopefully with me as his bride. I am just being romantic here. I wouldn't actually care how he'd propose or how he'd want our wedding to be celebrated as long as love is his reason for doing so. 

 

Oh well, got to get a grip and back to reality now.