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I Miss My Life in the Philippines. |
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Sunday, 01 February 2009 |
Work. Lunch out with friends at work and going back around 2pm (kapal eh noh?!). Dinner out. A cup of coffee or my usual green tea in a coffee shop. Movie nights. Food trips. Road trips. Nature trips. Even laughing trips. Parties or little get-togethers. I miss JS' version of Zombie-- cocktail drink with apples. Badminton. Gym. Sauna. And did I say badminton? I miss my 40-minute brisk walks from Greenbelt chapel to my rented space in Makati. I miss riding on a bus going to work and home. I miss the traffic in EDSA. I miss going to Baclaran church around midnight with DM. I miss NP Kopi Tiam's cuapao and Kopi C. I miss my friends' faces when they'd see me eating or drinking something weird or unusual. I miss hearing them laugh and I miss laughing with them. I miss mocking people with the E!s. I miss JS and BS on Friday nights when they'd tag me along on their dates. I miss hailing a cab and the mixed emotions of tension and excitement when my cabby would stop in the middle of a fly-over in EDSA because he was sleepy. I miss handing candies or gums to some drivers to wake their senses up so they'd bring me home safe. I miss SMS-ing everyone, "I am home safe. Goodnight..." (but I don't miss going home to an empty room, eh!). Although it is not something that I'd like to have my whole life, I miss the routine that I have had for many years.
I am aware. Before I even said yes to Uncle Sam's invite, I know I will go through this phase. For more than a year I have prepared myself for this. Wholeheartedly, I have accepted the offer for a total change. And so I left and bid each one goodbye, "We will all get used to it... "
I have embraced the change. But there will be days such this, that I will miss the inanity of my country and of my friends. All I can do is acknowledge it. See it as an old movie that I could watch over and over again until I fall asleep. Hoping it will keep playing even in my dreams.
"All I'm going to do is work. That's it. I will be fine." I did not want to be anywhere else. I was hoping my routine would only be from home to work and back. I wished the days would fly by unnoticed. Of course that did not happen due to the crisis. I was never a bum and was never dependent on anyone, not even on my mom, until I got here. Believe me it's depressing. But I have accepted my fate. My temporary state.
"Life is hard in the U.S., but life is harder in the Philippines," as RSB has put it. It was meant to keep me going.
I understand the current situation that God has put me into. It's not a challenge but an opportunity to learn something else. An opportunity to give and give-back. I am climbing another ladder of independence. God's willing, it will bring me home again. Wherever that may be.
Today is not really a dark-hued day. The sun is up and I had a good walk. I just thought I'd write something that will remind me someday that I have been through things and most of them I will carry with me wherever the way would lead me. It's not a baggage but some things to be cherished.
It's Sunday and the week ahead could be full of surprises again. There could be a twist on the course but I am praying that God will only show me the main path. No fork-road. Just the lighted main road.
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If there's someone that has remained constant in my 31 years here on earth, that's YOU, Dear Lord. Let me not miss You. Let me not forget about You when I am in a state of hardship, and especially not when I prosper.
Readers have left 2 comments. 1. Untitled
Patrick Claviolo, Unregistered Good things will come soon Mae! Perhaps it has happened already! :) 2. Untitled
Mae, Unregistered Hi Pat, thank you for taking time in leaving a message. Well.. 9 months and it's still the same here. I still feel the same... haayyy. |
Silent Hollo (limited) 
I am Mae German. 34 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by Juan Dela Cruz, and I am currently being trained for more by Uncle Sam. Writing since the age of 12. Blogging since 2001. I keep a notebook and a pen in my bag, on my bedside table, and inside the bathroom. Misses a lot. Sometimes even my own voice. Loves to laugh. Sometimes even at myself. I am a work in progress. My ultimate dream is to be a SAHM. That is, if I am bound to have that chance in this lifetime... and I am.