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I am where He wants me to be. |
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Wednesday, 18 February 2009 |
"It's all right. I am not really thinking or worrying too much about my being jobless lately."
Okay, I was a little surprised that it came out from me, but then I realized, right, I am not really worried. There could be some external pressure but still, I cannot deny that I feel safe, peaceful, and hopeful inside (if I may say). I am not being complacent though I may seem like it. It still suck not being able to give. But come on! There was a week that 100,000 people were laid off!
I never wanted to be one of those who are jobless but should I whine or rant about it? Look at it this way, 100,000, that simply means, I am not alone in this, right? It's happening everywhere and it has happened to some people that I know of.
So, everyday I make a decision, I answer a question in my head, I choose: Am I going to feel sad today or be happy for whatever I will have today? The latter is winning most of the time. As I have told a friend one time, "Mas masaya maging masaya!". My point is, why choose otherwise?
In fact, there are a lot of things to be happy about. There are a lot of things that I am grateful about. One: I am blessed with people who understand my situation; Two: I am still earning a little, but which is enough for me to buy my personal needs (believe me, I feel better that way); Three: I haven't ran out of Apply-Now buttons to click; Four: I am working on something that could be essential someday (it keeps my mind from wandering to the dark side of the tunnel actually).
The heck! You can throw me back to where I came from or bring me to another place and I wouldn't care. Yeah... I don't think I would now.
God could have brought me to New Zealand, or He could have just tied me up to my old job, instead He's brought me here. He brought me here with nothing but His Grace in my pocket. And that's all I need to stay alive.
I am where He wants me to be.
Altho' there are days that I feel low (read: human), I am confident there's something for me here. I don't need to look forward to it, I don't need to wait for tomorrow to see it. It's actually here. Not soon but now. I don't have to comfort myself by saying, "Mae, you will be fine. You'll get something soon. You'll have something soon... blah-blah-blah."
Crap! No matter how sore or lonely the day is, no matter how bad the weather is, no matter how hard the trail to the top is, no matter what I am doing, no matter where I am... I am where He wants me to be today.
Tomorrow, we'll see where I am.
Sometimes I think God do most of His wonders at night when everyone is sleeping, then we'd wake up in the morning and see a day that's wrapped in a beautiful way. We can either ignore the gift or ruin it. Or we can simply embrace it.
Hmmm.. so far, how are you doing today?
One person has commented on this article. 1. Untitled
allen, Unregistered "Sometimes I think God do most of His wonders at night when everyone is sleeping, then we'd wake up in the morning and see a day that's wrapped in a beautiful way. We can either ignore the gift or ruin it. Or we can simply embrace it."....WELL SAID and WRITTEN po...klap klap klap! gleeeeenng gleeeeennnngg
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Silent Hollo (limited) 
I am Mae German. 32 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by Juan Dela Cruz, and I am currently being trained for more by Uncle Sam. Writing since the age of 12. Blogging since 2001. I keep a notebook and a pen in my bag, on my bedside table, and inside the bathroom. Misses a lot. Sometimes even my own voice. Loves to laugh. Sometimes even at myself. I am a work in progress. My ultimate dream is to be a SAHM. That is, if I am bound to have that chance in this lifetime... and I am.