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Although this question is usual, it still comes as a shock for me everytime I am asked about it or just even thinking about it. And even if you give me the whole day to answer it, you woudn't hear the answer that you're expecting or the answer that would satisfy you. You want me to say, "I see myself satisfied and enjoying my job?", well I could say that. But in the back of my head is the question, "what job?" I don't even know what job I want right now. I don't even know where I'd fit in.
My eyes are clouded with doubts and frustrations. I cannot see my future from where I am standing. I could be good at something, but what is good when everybody else is better? Who would settle for the good one when there are better ones? I may strive to be better but the better ones strive for the best.
I could choose to be optimistic about this but when reality knocks you out hard in the head, how strong would you be?
It's not that I am not trying. I always do what I can but I guess luck is always elusive. I could always tell myself, "Oh well, maybe it's not yet my time or maybe it's not meant for me". But when will that time come and what's really in store for me? I can always try again when I fail, when I'm rejected. But believe me it's tiring.
But here's how I "wanted" to see myself someday soon...
I see myself out of this country, with a new life, a job that I could be best at and that I could say I love. I see myself earning not just enough for myself but enough for a family of four. Yes, a boy and a girl is my ideal. And yes, I see myself married. I see myself having the luxury to give to some people I care for, some people in need. I see myself hosting dinner for friends in my own house. I see myself driving my black pick-up/truck to the beach with my kids and husband, and with my dog. Oh! I wanted to see myself being a plain devoted housewife too! I like that better than being employed actually. I see myself going home to someone. I see myself taking good care of my own family-- something that I could call my own.
I see myself enjoying the simple life. I like the simple things. Of being able to love and be loved. Of being able to give and receive. Of being able to share. I am not trying to land to a job with these answers. I am just trying to land to my dream. I just wanted to be happy like any other normal people.
It's hard but I guess at times, happiness is a decision, and life is a set of struggles and of defeat. But I have my faith. And that is all I have now, to wherever life may lead me. It could take 3 or 5 years. It could take me forever to get there. But I'm not letting go... Well, at least I hope I won't let go.
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I am Mae German. 34 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by 
Silent Hollo (limited)