My Traffic Life

I am Mae German. 34 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by Juan Dela Cruz, and I am currently being trained for more by Uncle Sam. Writing since the age of 12. Blogging since 2001. I keep a notebook and a pen in my bag, on my bedside table, and inside the bathroom. Misses a lot. Sometimes even my own voice. Loves to laugh. Sometimes even at myself. I am a work in progress. My ultimate dream is to be a SAHM. That is, if I am bound to have that chance in this lifetime... and I am.

My Traffic Rules

Don't take my words personally. At times, not even literally. This is my journal. You're my reader. My spectator. Applaud. Yawp. Yawn. Smile. Frown. Rave. Rant. Or not. Neither can I see you from where I am standing nor can I hear you.

This is not my life. Maybe just a part of it. But this is me meandering through life. My emotions fluctuate. My opinion varies. If it's too hot in here and you can't take it, leave. If it's dull and too cold, go somewhere else for warmth. I won't wipe the frown on your brow.

My stories, unless stated otherwise, are mostly fictional. Fiction could be based on reality. Still, they are fiction. Don't own it. Don't live in it. It is what it is. Leave it.

Watch out for the traffic light. Follow the rules. Cruise.

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My relatives used to call me Menggay when I was a kid (some, even up to now). I didn't like it. Although I do not know who the Menggay they were referring to was, I was brought up to believe that she's funny and that she's an ugly girl that they have seen on TV way back in the 70s.

I remember feeling embarrassed and hurt every time they call me that in public.

A few years ago, someone from my surrogate family called me MAEnggay. I was shocked. "How the hell did they know that?!" Other than my relatives and (some of) my childhood friends, no one has called me that in a long time (since I am away from home most of the time) so you can just imagine how surprised I was when I heard someone I just knew used that name on me. Apparently they only got it from my short name, Mae. They probably don't know who Menggay was...

Menggay of the 70s was ugly. Her complexion was dark.
She portrays a dumb role and people were making fun of her.

Tell me, who wouldn't be hurt being compared to her when you're a kid trying to look pretty or at least look ordinary to save yourself from being called with a lot of different names of some funny people, huh?! All right? Tell that to a child.

I have no idea how she really looked like but judging from their laughters, I felt like I was being compared to some Matutina (she's the nearest I could imagine). One, I have a dark complexion. Two, I was a shy kid probably with lots of insecurities. You'll never know the real me if you don't talk to me. And some people would even think I am snobbish.

But I like it when people think. People should never just talk and talk and talk. People should never utter words that they will regret saying someday. People should never mock other people nor judge them for being funny or ugly or dumb-looking. People should be nice to other people because you'll never know who you're really talking to.

It's probably the mysterious life of Menggay that has made me accept being called Maenggay. Not the insult that she got when people laugh at her. Not our dark complexion. Not being ugly. But her, being mysterious to a lot of people. I'd like to think that we share the same character, her views of life and her antics, but those things I will never really know now. I will probably never know who she is or who she was back then. She could just be an ordinary gal or she could be an extra-ordinary person within.

Sometimes people call you names out of fondness. I can only wish that Menngay was loved the way Maenggay is loved by afew.

Readers have left 2 comments.

1. Untitled
crt, Unregistered

he he he hindi mo inabutan si menggay? ako napanood ko pa sya nung maliit ako.

sister ko din tawag ng mga older cousins ko sa kanya ay chichay kasi nick nya ay cherry. ako nick ko ay meline they tease me melay ang menggay. ang sis ko umiiyak...ako ewan ko pinapabayaan ko lang sila.

buti na lang ngayon uso na ang "mababantot" na nick mas pangit sounding mas cute he he he.

Posted 2008-03-02 03:29:29

2. Untitled
meg, Unregistered

depende rin kasi kung ano ibig sabihin nung name na itatawag sa iyo eh hehehe.
never called my cousin "Tange" kahit yun ang tawag sa kanya nung bata sya.

Posted 2008-03-03 07:13:58

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