I am Mae German. 34 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by 
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Silent Hollo (limited) A Fulfillment of His Plan
Silent Hollo (limited) A Fulfillment of His Plan | A Fulfillment of His Plan |
| Thursday, 18 June 2009 | |
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My mom wanted to send money for me from the Philippines. Money that was supposed to be a gift for her from my grandmothers in CA. I couldn't help but cry when Inang (my father's mom) told me about it. I felt pathetic. Hurt. I shouldn't be on the receiving end. My grandma pacified me by telling me that she refused to take the money from my mom and comforted her by telling her that I will be all right here. Inang is right. I am fine here. I have enough clothes, a shelter, and I am being fed well. Blessed are those who provide my needs. As they say, it is better to give than to receive. Maybe for now, I can only pay forward by doing what little I can do to anyone who would allow me and who would give me the opportunity to do so. I appreciate every given opportunity to help. It's my soul's hunger. Feed me. And I thought, maybe I am living the life that God has planned for me. Partly. How else could one live a "fulfilled" life but by living His will, right? If that is so, then I have accepted my temporary fate with a joyful heart. I am here for a reason. I believe He knows the best way that He could use me to bring Him more glory. He has given me talents. He has given me skills. But for the past few months, He's never given me a chance to use any of these gifts to make my life more comfortable and free from stress. My spirit almost hit rock bottom until I've realized there's one more gift that He's given me that I still have-- my heart. It is better to love than be loved. My life is never about ME. It's all about Him. That's (one of) my mantra. That's what I believe in. "Have faith that you are doing the right thing..." says a priest at the church of St. Anne somewhere in Long Island, NY. Some people may not understand, but I have faith that whatever I am going through is a fulfillment of His plan. My faith is strong simply because I have a faithful God. I have a cheerful disposition simply because I have a cool God (yo! Pareng G!). Lead me, Lord. I pray each night. Lead me to where You can use me... ... for Your greater glory. I may live to a hundred but hey, who knows how long one shall live? Whatever I can do today for my brethren, while I am here, let me do it now. Allow me to do it now. As the famous quote goes, I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer not neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. In this material world, I have nothing to brag about. But I walk tall and proud because I have Someone to trust, that even if I have nothing, all my needs, He will provide. And that even if my plans kept on landing on the road to nowhere, I know His plan never fails. He will prevail. Humble me. Calm my spirit. Satisfy me and those who surround me. We live in a material world. I understand how my mom feels knowing that I haven't started living the life that everyone's expecting. She's worried, probably afraid, too. She wanted to do what little she can do to make my life okay. Me, being human. A lot of things could happen. Things that we may not be able to control. Starvation. Illness. Death. I find comfort in knowing that whatever happens, good or bad, happy or sad, easy or hard, I know it is a fulfillment of His plan. Not for me, not for anybody else but for Him and Him alone. And with this thought, although I know that I am still a work in progress, I can sleep at night and say that I am okay. Tomorrow is another day. (Pareng G, for the blessings that I have received yesterday or even in the past, let my heart see another opportunity to pay forward.) |
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