My Traffic Life

I am Mae German. 34 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by Juan Dela Cruz, and I am currently being trained for more by Uncle Sam. Writing since the age of 12. Blogging since 2001. I keep a notebook and a pen in my bag, on my bedside table, and inside the bathroom. Misses a lot. Sometimes even my own voice. Loves to laugh. Sometimes even at myself. I am a work in progress. My ultimate dream is to be a SAHM. That is, if I am bound to have that chance in this lifetime... and I am.

My Traffic Rules

Don't take my words personally. At times, not even literally. This is my journal. You're my reader. My spectator. Applaud. Yawp. Yawn. Smile. Frown. Rave. Rant. Or not. Neither can I see you from where I am standing nor can I hear you.

This is not my life. Maybe just a part of it. But this is me meandering through life. My emotions fluctuate. My opinion varies. If it's too hot in here and you can't take it, leave. If it's dull and too cold, go somewhere else for warmth. I won't wipe the frown on your brow.

My stories, unless stated otherwise, are mostly fictional. Fiction could be based on reality. Still, they are fiction. Don't own it. Don't live in it. It is what it is. Leave it.

Watch out for the traffic light. Follow the rules. Cruise.

more...

Currently reading:

Mae's List »

Send a Gift

A few days before the big day, Tin sent me a complete guide with matching map, on how things will go inside the U.S. Embassy. Not that I do not know how to ask from strangers when I get there, it's just that I knew I would feel more confident when I have the guides beforehand. And they, among the others who have given me enough boost and prayer support, did not just give me confidence that day.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008.

Badz, Tin, and Baby Dot (as we fondly call the baby inside Tin's womb) woke up early, fetched me around 7am and dropped me off the U.S. Embassy ground in Roxas Blvd., Manila. We were there around 8am after droppin' off Gian-- Tin's little big bro in La Salle, Taft. Found a place to park and a place where they could wait for me -- Yellow Cab Pizza Co..

No, they did not stop there nor did they leave me. We all crossed the road and paved our way to the entrance of the embassy. They made sure I was all right and got inside the site with no trouble at all (they were the ones who almost got into trouble with the guards tho' -- those unreasonable guys! *grrr* ). As soon as I got through the verification area, they left and settled to wait for me in Yellow Cab. Mobile phones or any kind of gadgets are not allowed inside the embassy. I left everything with them expecting that I'm done around 10am.

"Non-Immigrant, Follow the Red Signs"

Tin's right. I don't need the map (but I wanted a copy anyway). As soon as I got settled at the Pavilion, I read Tin's note again. I think I have read it a hundred times assuring myself that I was doing right (permission to post it here, Tin):

point 1 is the area where the guard checks if you are indeed included in the day's appointments :) just find the marker of your interview time, yun ang start ng line mo.
then you'll go through the security check much like the ones at the airports and ADB hehehe
you will be directed to go to the pavilion. fall in line at the window corresponding your family name initial and then they'll get your passport and they'll give you a number.
wait until your number is called, will take mga about 20mins, unless you get inside super early. kung nawiwiwi ka, i suggest you do it na sa pavilion kasi once inside medyo mabilis na mga pangyayari.
when your number is called, you will be directed to fall in line either at window A or B. They will get your fingerprints digitally (nung time na nagapply kami, thumbs lang, last i heard all ten fingers na!)
tapos nun, diretso ka na sa sa waiting area sa loob and then people will assist you na duon kung walang pila...or magpaflash number mo to go to a corresponding consul's window.
when you're approved (and you will be approved!), your passport won't be returned anymore and you will be given a yellow slip.
bring your yellow slip at Delbros inside the Pavilion to submit your details and pay the courier fee.
you're done. smile and meet us outside!!! :D

If reading it the first time a few days ago, felt like I was already walking through the place (I felt my heart beat went faster and my hands colder). That Wednesday it felt the same, only I was really in the moment-- reality.

Was I nervous? I don't think so. The truth is, what hit me was her last line on her last item on the list.

"... smile and meet us outside!!!"

I am so blessed with great friends. Good people. People who make sense. People who are so generous of their time and understanding. People who doesn't just wish you well but people who would also pray for you each night. Some would even light a candle at the altar, some would even accompany you in the middle of the night to visit Baclaran Church. Some you'd never expect their concern and faith in you. They are not perfect. We are not perfect. But I could say, I may have nothing that I could call my own, I may have nothing to lose when I leave the country, but I sure will have a lot to miss here. Now... now... this is out of topic. Let me wipe my tears and drop such thoughts.

So I stayed cool and calm inside...

The pavilion was just like a bus station for me where people fall in line to get their tickets and then wait for the ushers to call on your number once the bus has arrived. I am used to bus stations. Only then, I wasn't at the bus station.

I wished I brought a book to read (I was planning to bring The Catcher in the Rye a night before) then I thought of taking my pen out and try to scribble my thoughts, but then the persons seated next to me were so close, I would mind them peeking on my notes. I tried to observe but just the same, it felt like I was at the bus station.

It was boring inside the pavilion. I was given a number (#2855) bypassing my 9:30am appointment. We were still on #27NN and I was already sleepy. I wish I could go out to check on Badz and Tin, tell them they could go ahead and not wait for me (I'll see them in the afternoon anyway) or they could just leave Yellow Cab, wander around the bay area, then we'll meet again in Yellow Cab after an hour or two. But I don't think I could leave my post then. The bus might leave without me so I stayed. Bought myself a large order of Vanilla Caramel from Gloria Jeans, talked to the person seated next to me and learned that we're working for the same company (she's in transaction banking tho').

"Nag-sick leave ka sa office? Coz I did call in sick just to be here." she asked me.

"No. My boss knows where I am and my boss knows that I am leaving soon," oh yes, with pride, I told her that. I wanted to add some more, like tell her how my boss supports my endeavors, but of course, I remained in control. I don't know her. I might not be able to explain to her that I call my boss, Papita and his wife Mamita. She might find me weird if I start talking. Anyway, she was called first before I was called.

A little before 11am, a set of numbers were called for finger-printing. I was one of them and I was the last number on the series. The white guy who took our digital finger prints was nice but I think he almost ran out of patience when he couldn't scan the finger prints of the girl before me. He even asked her if she has an allergy. She explained that she doesn't have any allergy. Her hands were just extremely dry. That freaked me out a little as some of you know, my hands could get extremely wet.

But I did fine. Thank God, he did not have a hard time scanning for my finger prints.

"You staying in the U.S.. for 3 years? When was the last time you're there?" he asked, taking out my tensed feeling.

And I was happy for the short conversation, "Yes I am staying there for 3 years and it's my first time to travel abroad, by the way."

He could have asked some more. There was no one after me. We could have chatted more but we're done with my finger prints. "You have a nice day," he said.

"Thanks," I replied smiling back. Then I got my passport with some documents attached to it. We were instructed to go back to the Pavilion to wait for our number to be called again for the interview.

Around 11am, we were instructed to go inside the waiting area. I was really sleepy then. I knew that in a few minutes my number will be called but I was really sleepy then. I tried to bow my head while on my seat so I could take a nap but it was impossible to sleep. There's this one window and it had a loud speaker, every one could hear what he's saying. Altho' all that he has interviewed were given an approved visa, I prayed to God that I won't fall on that window.

"Everything is just fine, your visa has been approved. It will arrive a few days..." he must have said that ten times before he closed the window. He took a break I guess. Thank God. But then again he's been approving a lot of visas, he should continue doing it.

I had to transfer to another seat ten numbers away from mine. This time I felt my heart thumping every time I hear the alarm and the LED would display the window number and the number that it will serve. I was trying to embrace the feeling of nervousness, of thrill, and of fear when an old lady seated beside me asked me where I am going. She's trying to get a tourist visa so she could visit her son/daughter (I forgot to ask) in Baltimore. That has diverted my attention. I felt better. Then my number was displayed on the LED. "God bless you," the old lady said as I stood up and thanked her.

Window 5.

So there I was standing in front of the consul where the longest 5 or 10 minutes of my life happened.

The consul was another white guy who's probably in his late 50s. His face, I am not sure I'd remember now but I felt his calmness as I approached Window 5. I slipped my passport with the forms that were attached to it through the small slot on the glass window that separates us.

"Good morning," I said and he was nice to acknowledge my greetings. He checked my passport and the attached notice of action (form I-797B from US Citizenship and Immigration Services) then looked up to the monitor in front of him, probably to verify my case number.

"Where are you working now?"
"I work for BDO Universal Bank, Sir."
"How long have you been working there?"

Ooopss... I wasn't sure what nor how to answer. I stopped working there for a few months then went back just a few months ago. Let me count... Oh! crap! Say something, Mae. Anything!

"For about 2 years now." I said quickly. I am not sure if I looked straight into his eyes then as I wasn't sure of my reply.

"What's your job there?" he asked again.

"I am a programmer, Sir." I said. Now I am sure I looked at him in the eye then.

"What language?"
"Visual Basic, Sir."
"Where did you work before that?"
"I worked for Divisoria.com, sir. E-commerce. It's an online store."

He paused.

"Hmmm... do you have with you a copy of your school credentials? Diploma or transcript of records? Employment certificate?" he continued.

"Yes sir. I have with me my diploma, transcript of records, and my current employment certificate which they just renewed days ago." I was even excited to reply while taking out the papers from my clear sleeves. Then one by one I slipped the papers through the slot. And one by one he looked at them. Then he stopped upon reading my current employment certificate which says "Primover... " on the header instead of BDO. I can almost read his mind.

"What's this Primover?"
"Oh,it's my agency, sir."
"And is this BDO Universal Bank the same with BDO Leasing..?"
"BDO Leasing is a subsidiary of BDO Universal Bank, Sir."

I felt my hands getting cold again. I hoped he wasn't suspecting or anything. I was telling the truth it's just that my data weren't that consistent. I wasn't even sure what to put there. Like I work with an agency and I work for a bank. That's different and well, the same. See? I confuse myself sometimes. And sometimes I do that to entertain myself.

"Come on Mae, answer with conviction." I was telling myself.

"When did you graduate in college again?" he looked confused but I felt all right.

"1998, Sir." It's either he did not really read my diploma and transcript of records or he doubted about my age. I don't look like someone who's been working for 10 years already, I know.

Then he continued browsing through their system and checking in my notice of action. That lasted for about 10 or 15 seconds. Then back to my passport where the notice of action was stapled.

He took a staple remover to detach the notice of action from the passport while I was wondering where the yellow slips were placed. I did not see any yellow slip in the area but I seemed to know what's going to happen next. There's this tiny feeling within me that was already rejoicing.

"Do you have a photocopy of this?" he was referring to the notice of action. I have given them the original copy.

"No, sir." politely, I said.

"All right, let me make a copy for you then 'coz I will have to give you back the original," I was smiling already, couldn't contain my excitement on the next words that he'd say but I had to keep myself composed and calm and try to act like nothing great was coming. He left his seat clutching my notice of action.

While I was left in Window 5, I entertained myself by wandering my eyes on what's behind the glass window that separates us. It's a normal office set-up. There's this one Pinay and I didn't dare smile back when she looked at me. She doesn't look someone who'd smile back just like some other Filipinos who work there. Maybe I should get used to their kind.

Anyway, it probably took him around 3 minutes to get back. I still had time to say a quick prayer, looked around, balanced myself on one foot, tip-toed, and back to my normal position (yes, you could do a lot of things in three minutes).

When he returned, he's holding a copy of my notice of action in green paper.

"Oh no! Why not yellow?! It's not the slip all right, but it's a piece of paper just the same! It should be yellow, not green!" Okay, I was just entertaining myself while he was slowly fixing himself back to his place.

With clasped hands, I was anticipating his next words. The ones the consul with a loud speaker have said many times: "Everything is just fine, your visa has been approved. It will arrive a few days..." -- Those words I was waiting for him to say until he began to speak.

"Everything is fine. Your visa's approved..."

Fine, he did not deliver the words in exact tone and arrangement of words just like the other consul did with some ten or so people in Window 9 but how can I react on that? Before he's done speaking, I was already grinning, but I let him continue of course.

"...the thing is, we don't have your case in our system yet, there could be a delay in receiving your visa because we still have to get it from Washington D.C.."

"It's all right, sir," I wanted to tell him I wasn't in a hurry but I chose not to in the end.

"Don't worry it will be an online transaction from Washington and not via airmail or something," he was too nice to say that.

"All right, thank you, Sir," was all I can say.

"Just go to Delbros, and tell them your visa is approved then they will send it to you when it's ready." Those were his last few words.

"Thank you, Sir." and those were mine and I am sure I said that with a grin stuck on my face.

I turned my back and walked away from Window 5 and thanked God that it was over. He has sealed His gift not with a yellow slip. I don't think the gift was even wrapped and needed sealing anyway. It was open from the very beginning but my being human wanted an assurance. A seal. A yellow slip. A certificate. Something that we can see to remove all doubts within us. A lot of times we are like that-- Human.

I was thinking about Badz and Tin while walking back to the Pavilion where the Delbros area was. I checked the time and it's almost 11:30am. They have been waiting for me for almost three hours already. I wondered how much they have eaten already (baka bondat na pati si Baby Dot, I thought). I must have been gliding when I got to Delbros.

I was given another number. #159. It was yellow.

In less than five minutes I was done paying for the delivery fee of my approved visa (Php250 for Metro Manila delivery). Then I made it back to where Badz and Tin were (yes, they have eaten a lot of chicken and had some ice cream already).

"Wala akong yellow slip," I was trying to control myself from grinning.

"Ha? Baket?" Tin asked.

And the rest is history...

I wasn't sure how I could thank Badz and Tin for their presence that day. There was no need but having them then made a huge difference. I know those things will never happen again (not with the same circumstance at least). I was wonderfully blessed that day.

The moment I got my mobile phone, I sent the good news to my prayer warriors (both locally and abroad) and thanked them once again. I have reminded some of them before I went to the embassy that I was on my way to my interview. I knew a lot of them were excited to know what happened. And JS, who had briefed me a day before the big day even texted me in the morning, which I only read when I was done with the interview. More than a boss and my mentor, he (and BS) has been a very good friend.

"Good moaning! Rise up to the occasion! Kaya mo yan. You're in the company of winners and expect no less. If there's someone who deserves a big break, I can't think of no one but you. Chin up and dazzle them!", [Elites can't fail daw mga E!s *hehehe*]. It could have given me a boost or it could have scared me (of failing) if I read it earlier. I was touched, even felt like crying when I read it. And the more I felt so much blessed.

Blessed.

If there's one word that I could use to describe how I felt that day with the number of people who have joined me in my journey, it would be it-- blessed. And I have written this not just for everyone to know how God has worked in me and how He has blessed my life with such wonderful people. I have written this because someday I want to remember this one day in My Traffic Life-- when God has turned the green light on not for me nor for anybody but for Him and His Greater Glory.

I have asked Him once to use me and make His Name be magnified in every happening in my life. Still, He's doing it in my favor. No doubt, we can never exceed the Goodness of His Heart.

Ahhh... My life. May it be lived with unending praise and bring glory to His name as the journey continues...