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I may leave soon. That's all I know. Other than that, I have no idea. God knows how I barely survive the kind of job I have-- programming. Some love it. Some don't. Some leave it, some stick to it. I am somewhere in between.
Honestly, I am doing it because I have no choice. It's the path that my 4 years in college have prepared for me. Let me not go back to the reason why I took up B.S. in Computer Science. This is the future that I'm going to talk about. And the past will be my passport to that future.
I can't tell the difference of being scared and of being excited to the new adventures that I will have to go through soon. For me they are the same now. Is it my strong faith that makes me unshaken or unthreatened by the unknown that is waiting to devour me soon? Or was it just because my trying-to-survive-life has trained me well enough to survive another one?
Don't get me wrong. I love to go there. I'd like to know why people love it there and why some would prefer going back here. I'd like to know which place I'd choose if given the chance to choose. I'd like to try living there. I'd like to try working there. But to work as a programmer (even if it meant lotsa money).. err... 10 years from graduating in college, I still haven't fallen in love with it. I am like a dog going in circles trying to catch my tail.
"I know," I once told DP when she said she's stressed at work and that she hates her line of job as a programmer, "the only good thing I see in taking up my course was meeting you guys (in school). If there's any other good thing about it, I haven't seen it yet." Or my eyes were just closed.
It's just that some people were born to do some codes, to program, to analyze data, and to create a system that will make other people's routine easy. For some, it takes them time to love their job. Some may learn to love it, some, well, I'd say they learn to survive each day, and they're okay (well, as long as the compensation is good, right?).
I have learned to adapt and until I am not sure where I'd fit in, I will stick to what is given. The pursuit will never stop. I have yet to see how I'd turn out once I get to the other side of the bridge. But right now, all I can see in the future is the same ME-- only difference would be I'd be stepping on a foreign land.
But please... let me live a normal life while I am still here.
"Stop working when you're done with your contract in July."
"You still have lots of tasks to do before you leave. You have to buy your winter clothes, etc., etc.."
"How can you study when you're working? What? You're not going to get enough sleep again?"
I guess you know who's talking (she hasn't mentioned about my travel health insurance tho'). But I can't stop working. I won't. Because not working would mean leaving the city and being idle and bored. And hah! I can't imagine myself not going to the gym and not playing badminton and not seeing my friends noh! *heh heh*
All of that I know may change soon. But for now, let things stay the way they are.
Readers have left 4 comments. 1. Untitled
mikaela, Unregistered I so admire your strong faith, mae. c",) keep it up! your testimonies always remind me of our Father's goodness and love. :) 2. Untitled
mae, Unregistered thanks Mikaela. let's keep the Faith :) 3. Untitled
Badz, Unregistered sarap sana kung andun tayo lahat tapos magkakapit bahay para walang feeling homesick ehehe. It's really a different world out there. Pero masaya din :) Malaking apartment ha! para pag bumisita elites mas masaya hehehe 4. Untitled
mae, Unregistered oo naman!  pero pero badz... wala munang usapang ganto!  |
I am Mae German. 34 years old. Born in Mangatarem, province of Pangasinan. I was taught and trained by 
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