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(I know I am being unreasonable sometimes)
I was moved by Julia Robert's & Brad Pitt's line in the movie The Mexican: "If two people really love each other but just can't get along, when do they say enough is enough?" in which Brad Pitt answered: "Never." As Barry Gifford (an author, see here) says "I think it comes to a point where, you know, the repetitiousness of it all finally wears you out. You get tired. You just get so goddamn tired. That's when it's time to say, 'Enough is enough.' Now, if the other person is capable of changing, really doesn't want to lose the good parts, there's still a chance. I think people's ability or inability to change, to want to change, is the key to the whole thing. You have to be able to recognize when the other person is just not going to ever be secure enough to satisfy you. Security, that's the thing." Ey! Maybe if two people truly love each other, they'll never give up. Enough is never enough. In my case... I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting and no longer feel secure in a relationship or maybe I just realized after over 6 years, I am not yet ready to be in a relationship. I kept telling my friends that communication is the very key to a successful relationship. Yeah-yeah... look who's talking! That's one thing I lack-- communication skills. But look how far my relationship went! Now you know that's never on my secrets. Hmmm... let's reveal the secrets then. A good partner? Make that an understanding partner. A lot of patience? I just ran out of that! But right, patience played a huge part in our relationship-- both side. But as I have said I just ran out of it and finally let go of the single string I was holding on to. Who's going to catch me fall when I am no longer sure if I want to be caught again? Well, I am not so sure of a lot of things lately. My eyes finally went through today's wall and now I see my future-- obscure. The worse thing is that I now doubt myself if I am worthy to be in a relationship. I am capable of changing but for now, my whole system refuses to get along. Pathetic, huh?! Say what you want but even my mind has shut down. Again, as Gifford says: "The first thing you have to do is be comfortable with yourself, it's an old adage. It's a cliché. But it's nevertheless the main truth of the whole matter. Once you are comfortable with the way you are, then it's really up to the other person to accept or not accept you. That is the answer to the question about when enough is enough." Will someone with reasonable mind be willing to hold on to me even if I refuses to give my hands? Will someone be willing to go against the one-way street that I have chosen to pass through just so he could meet me face-to-face? Is there any hypocrite out there willing to live with a hypocrite like me? Am I going to throw away the one thing that I have been waiting for my whole life now? Or maybe the question should be, will I ever find my way to go back and change willingly for the name of LOVE again?! Oh! How I hope enough isn't enough for me. So I pray... God, please take my hands off the wheels for now. Maybe I have had enough. Yet, a new day keeps on coming. And behind my cloudy day, unknowingly, HE took control and uses someone else's voice to tell me... "I will love you unconditionally". Whose voice HE used? A hypocrite in the name of love! Maybe not a hypocrite but a crazy man in love, indeed. But whose craziness leads to my realization that I should try harder. Enough about having enough. Well, life isn't always a green light and a hump-free road. I am just glad someone grabbed me back to my lane before something hits me... hard. ;)
In Black 'n White - 03.03.2003 No one has commented on this article. |